Sunday, May 8, 2016

What about you?

Growing up, mother's day was all about my own mother. The woman who raised me, gave birth to me, did my hair, dressed me, gave birth to me, changed all my diapers, dealt with me through crazy teenage years, took me to doctor appointments, gave birth to me, taught me, nurtured me, cared for me, gave birth to me, took me to school, took me to gymnastics, helped me get better at violin and viola, gave birth to me, helped me love others, taught me compassion, saved me from getting in trouble, fed me, spent 9 months knowing me before anybody else, oh, and did I mention... gave birth to me. (Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!)

Fast forward 25 years. I sat there in a room filled with women who had children. I watched them as they collected their flowers, their presents, their special reminders of how wonderful they were - for they were mothers, and this was Mother's Day. And I tried my best to put on a happy face. But no one wished me a happy Mother's Day and no one gave me flowers, or sent any appreciation my way. And why should they? I didn't have any children.

We drove home, and I wept. What about me? This should have been my Mother's Day. I hated that day with every ounce of my being. The day that reminded me that I was not actually a mother, that I did not have children, that my pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage, and that for all intents and purposes, this was not my day.

And now, I sit here and type this as my 2-year-old brushes my hair and uses my hair-tie as a hat, then turns, grabs my face and gives me a kiss, then rubs her nose on mine and gives me "eskimos." She loudly exclaims, "happy mom's day!" In the other room, my twins are sleeping soundly. My heart is full. And I... I am a mother, and there is no denying that. Today, flowers were given, calls and texts have been made pronouncing my motherhood. And there's nothing like the reminder of my daughter asking for more cereal, and more apples - which in turn, she tries to feed me - that shows me, that in fact, I am a mother. And this is my day.

But...what about you? What about you... who had their motherhood title stripped from them when you were told your baby no longer had a heartbeat? What about you...who carried that baby 9 long months, to deliver a baby who would only take a few breaths, and leave your arms? What about you...who sat there and delivered a tiny, lifeless child? What about you...who waits and waits for someone to pick you as their mother? What about you...who can't ever bear children but so longs to have your own?

To you, I say, Happy Mother's Day. HAPPY Mother's day. You...YOU are a mother.

And heck, all you dog (or cat, or some other animal) lovers out there are also mothers. Mothers to precious animals that depend on you.

So hey, to all of you mothers, I wish you a very, very happy Mother's Day.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016


Eric flew back to Seattle Tuesday night, and we left Wednesday morning. The flight was GREAT. We had three seats between two aisles - each had two seats (four total across). There was a lady in our aisle, and they asked her to move so I could use the fourth seat. I was able to bring both carseats on and the girls slept the entire flight, so I only had to entertain Bree. Everyone was spectacular helping me with all of my stuff on and off the plane -I barely carried anything myself!

We did so much in Utah. Visited lots of friends, ran with Stephanie a lot, ate out (totally forgot to go to waffle luv!!!), and got to see FOUR brand new babies! Congrats to Chelsea, Becca, Jodi and Brooke!

My swaddled burritos :)

We visited Erika one night and Delilah was OBSESSED with this bat.

Colette found the mitt and loved it.

We stayed with Stephanie until Eric got there Saturday, then we moved to Sally's house. When we got to Sally's, Bree saw a pic of Addi and kept pointing and saying "Addi! Addi!" Every time we went ANYWHERE, she would say, "addi?" I don't know how many times I explained that Addi was in a different state. She also missed her GG very much, and kept asking to "call GG." :)

Morning snuggles

Monday, we went to eh Aquarium with Sally, Stephanie and the twins she nannies - Jonah and Lucas. It was a lot of fun to see the animals. 

They had a rope bridge that Bree wouldn't get off of after she had done it once with me. It took forever to pull her away.

We saw a lot of pretty animals like this macaw. 

And some weird looking fish like this one that looks like a rock.

They had whale and turtle statues to climb on, and Bree didn't miss doing that over and over.

Bree loved holding the boy's hands. So adorable.

Tuesday, we went to get our stuff from Julie's house and move it elsewhere because they are moving to Vegas. Bree loved playing in the snow while we were in Utah, and would announce "sneeze" every time she saw it. She thinks snow is called sneeze because she has a book called "Sneezy the snowman" courtesy of Noelle and family. 

Eric found this trailer that said Wolfpack on it - which reminds him of his own wolfpack (a few of his friends call themselves that). 

We flew home Tuesday, and again had a wonderful flight. They blocked the whole aisle for us to sit across both rows, so again we could bring the carseats on. It was wonderful. I love Alaska Airlines.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016


Back on Cyber Monday, I knew airline deals would be pretty great, so I asked Eric what he wanted to do for his birthday, telling him we should go somewhere really cool. He chose: Salt Lake. Ha. Really? 

At the same time, Kade and Addi requested that we come to see them, so we got tickets for both places, and planned our trip. The only weekends that worked for the tickets were going to be back-to-back weekends. Because of this, I thought, "well, why don't I just go from Idaho to Utah and spend more time in Utah versus going back to Seattle in between?" It ended up being cheaper to do that, and so I was going to drive from Idaho to Utah. However, upon telling my dad of my plans, he insisted I fly just in case there was snow. I was pretty sure I couldn't fly with the twins by myself (one lap infant per adult), but it turns out that if you ticket one infant, you can fly by yourself. The problem is the oxygen masks. There is only one extra per row, and so you can't have two lap infants in the same row. So, we got tickets for one twin, Bree and myself and decided we would fly from Idaho to Utah.

Bree LOVED playing with her cousins. She let Addi do her hair and left it in a for a while. Addi painted her toe nails too and she loves them.

Addi and Bree perfected taking matching selfies.

And Bree loved watching Kade play video games. I love how sweet Kade is with her.

Bree fell asleep with Aunt Nat and Oscar. 

Kade told me these are his ladies. Add said these would be the most ladies he ever got. HA.

Bree took a bath with Add, and Add put their hair in the turbie twists. 

We ate at a deli for lunch that had a "surprise" sandwich on the menu. The description of the sandwich was literally "it's a surprise" and Nat knew Eric would try it since he is always asking servers to pick his meal for him. 

This was the new best place for watching TV.

I was telling Nat how I wanted to do more with my hair, and she said Add could curl it with the straightener. I still can't figure out how to do that, so Add did it on my hair for me. Pretty, pretty. 

Bree took Oscar's bone and placed it on his nose while he was sleeping. She loves Oscar.

Bree thinks she doesn't need naps... but she totally does. This is her all snuggled up with dad. 

Not pictured - Nat and I went to yoga and went on a few runs. It was so fun to have an exercise partner for a few days. I love exercising with someone rather than by myself. So, so fun!

Huge thanks to the Schofield family for having us!! We miss you!

Friday, January 15, 2016


My entries are pretty redundant - constantly about my girls. :) So I'm at a loss at what title to give them. So this week, the title is unknown. 

Delilah and Bree have very similar profiles. They were both looking the same way and I decided to snap this shot. 

Bree loves baby toys - almost more than the babies do. They have these cups that fit into each other, and Bree wore them around like shoes. She makes me laugh.

And those twins... just adorable.

Especially when they have to touch each other. 

I found Colette sleeping like this. The light had been off. Maybe it was still too bright.

Bree told me she needed to go ni-night, and got in the high chair with a blanket and her bear. Always a good place to sleep.

Eric brought home a gun from a friend so he could try it out. Can I just say - Bree is going to be all Eric needs for a boy, as outlined by her Christmas presents.

Bree is constantly coming in our room, and spending the night in our bed. I woke up to this precious sight. 

Eric found a dead lizard in the pool, fished it out, and posed it. DISGUSTING.

We bundled up and went outside to play on the trampoline and playground. The girls loved it, and Bree was so gentle about not jumping too high around them.

Bree and I went to Kohl's and she insisted on taking Lion with her. She carried him around the whole store like this.

And now, tomorrow we head to Idaho! Here we come Schofield's!